Some days, it only takes a coy smile and a light breeze to arouse me. Other days, it takes a village of porn, erotica, lube, extra foreplay, and a hard-working partner for me to even get there.
I used to think these urges were completely random — until I started tracking my cycle and learning about my hormones.
When I talk about the “menstrual cycle,” I’m not just talking about Shark Week. The menstrual cycle actually refers to the 21-35 day cycle that makes ovulation and menstruation possible.
Using a popular cycle-tracking app called Clue and my trusty Lioness Vibrator, I found out how all the different parts of my menstrual cycle influence my orgasms.
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a more aggravated version of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS). PMS feels like bopping to an angsty No Doubt song on the radio, while PMDD feels like being trapped in a Hawthorne Heights screamo concert with no end in sight.
PMDD is a medical condition that causes severe irritability, anxiety, and depression in the week or two before your period(1). Symptoms subside 2-3 days after your period starts. An estimated 5-8% of women and AFAB (assigned female at birth) individuals have PMDD(2).
Those of us that have PMDD can thank our lucky stars that masturbating serves as a fun way to relieve symptoms.
Racing heart, shallow breathing, tensed muscles, and goosebumps. Sounds pretty sexy, right? Not always.
If we look closely, the physical symptoms of anxiety can overlap with some things we experience during sex and arousal. Though they share these physical experiences, anxiety and sex are not happy bedfellows. “Anxiety is a major contributor to diminishing frequency of sex and diminishing capacity for enjoyment of sex,” says Colorado-based certified sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger.
Let’s explore some of the more common ways anxiety can impact your sex life (and some tips to find let go and enjoy sex again!).
