Sex Guides
In the days since the worldwide Black Lives Matter protests began in the spring, we have been finding ways to heal and be better, slowly but surely. We’ve transformed our anger into action. We joined book clubs to learn more about racial justice. We’ve initiated difficult conversations about race in our own communities. We voted a problematic president out of the White House.
But one area of racial justice that’s often overlooked is right in the center of our homes: the bedroom.
- January 25, 2021
- 4 min read
You might have heard terms like “daddy issues,” “thirsty,” or “dramatic” to describe the behavior of women and femmes who face difficulties with unhealthy relationships and sexual patterns. Attachment theory—the study of how childhood attachment patterns affect how we act in adult relationships—can help explain some of these patterns, no slut-shaming undertone required.
Maybe you’re a serial monogamist trying to see what the wild world of casual dating has to offer. Maybe you find yourself constantly chasing emotionally unavailable people. Maybe you can’t figure out why you can’t stop texting bae 85 times in a row when you’re upset.
When you’re ready to break out of a pattern that no longer serves you, attachment theory can help you make sense of intense emotions and impulses.
- December 18, 2020
- 5 min read
Feel like your sex life’s been a bit lacking lately (if not outright nonexistent)? Yeah, that’s kind of a thing right now.
In a survey by the app Mentimeter and relationship therapist Vienna Pharaon, 36% of people in the U.S. and Europe said the spark between them and their partners has dwindled since quarantine, and 41% were having less sex.
Anyone else surprised those numbers aren’t higher?
The reason this is happening is fairly simple: People’s libidos drop when they’re under stress, says MFT and sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger, LMFT, CST.
- November 13, 2020
- 4 min read
It may not be a surprise to some women, but a new study that came out just last year shows that the longer a woman is in a committed long term relationship, the more likely it is that her libido will decrease.
The study concluded that women need variety and novelty in their sexual experiences to stay interested.
This article condenses research on the nature of female desire in long-term heterosexual relationships.
- October 28, 2020
- 5 min read
The first rule of Masturbation Club is how you masturbate is up to you. Your body, your choice.
And it’s true that masturbation looks very different for all of us; some of us may be pillow-humpers, some of us may enjoy penetrative sex toys, and some of us may just enjoy some spit and our own hands.
The second rule, though, is masturbation can be fun when it’s mutual!
Before you ask, yes, mutual masturbation is different than having sex with a partner—even though it is just as fun!
- August 19, 2020
- 4 min read
Outside of the military community, Memorial Day is generally pretty sexy. Bikinis, beer and barbecues; steaks, sunscreen, and swimming pools. It’s a day many civilians look forward to.
Inside the military community, however, things can look and feel a bit different. For a military spouse, it’s often a day where we anticipate our service member needing more love than they give. It’s a day when we know they’re going to be thinking of all the people they’ve loved and lost - people they’ve endured everything with, from boot camp to wars.
This begs the question; how do you maintain intimacy with something like death and loss hanging heavy in the air? The answer is so simple, it may surprise you!
- May 23, 2020
- 4 min read
In the world of sex, fetishes and fantasies are often viewed as taboo. While you can lean toward science and studies to tell you that they’re not actually that uncommon, chances are you’ve got the best possible person to share your sexual fantasies with; your partner.
Still, figuring out how to share your sexual fantasies with someone may seem difficult at first. If you’ve never approached the subject, you may be unsure of what to ask, how to ask it, and how to react.
Fortunately, we’ve compiled a simple list of tips and tricks for how to talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies and theirs.
- May 13, 2020
- 4 min read
How did a man who set out to study wasps become known by some as the father of the sexual revolution? Blame his students.
After earning his doctorate in biology from Harvard, Alfred Charles Kinsey became a professor at Indiana University in 1920. For about two decades, he researched gall wasps. Then in 1938, he agreed to teach a new course on marriage “intended to help family conditions”...
- March 02, 2020
- 3 min read
Sometimes the intensity and spontaneity of a quickie satisfies your sex craving. And especially when you and your partner both have over-packed calendars, something's better than nothing. But other times, a slow buildup with plenty of foreplay leads to increased intimacy, lower inhibitions, and more enjoyable sex. Most of us even want more of it: While foreplay tends to last only 12 minutes, both sexes would like it to last about 18 minutes.
In that spirit, here's everything you need to know about foreplay, plus ideas for how to liven it up if you want more than the typical makeout session.
- November 14, 2019
- 4 min read
- October 18, 2019
- 4 min read
If romance novels and chick-flicks are to be believed, the long-distance relationship is to be dreaded, and time apart shunned as an enemy of love.
But in reality, the experts—and those who’ve been there— say long-distance relationships can actually lead to a stronger bond. Even, perhaps, a better sex life.
Here are the 5 best tips to keep your sex life alive in a long distance relationship.- September 13, 2019
- 4 min read
Lesbians have great sex, and we have the data to prove it. Research published in the journal Archives of Sexual Nature found that while straight people have sex more often, lesbians report having far more orgasms — 86 percent of the time — compared to their heterosexual counterparts, who orgasm only 65 percent of the time.
But how do we have this earth-shattering, orgasm-giving sex? It’s not just about oral sex— though there’s plenty of that, too. To avoid the dreaded “lesbian bed death” thought to come with long-term relationships, lesbians have to get more creative with our sex positions to keep things exciting.
Whether you’ve been together for 2 months or 20 years, here are some of the best lesbian sex positions you can incorporate into your sex life to keep the passion flowing.
- August 13, 2019
- 3 min read