Last summer, after my last relationship ended, a friend encouraged me to revel in my newfound freedom by going to sex parties. Yup, those are what they sound like — parties for sex. 

But for me, they were much more than that. They were places for me to meet sex-positive people, overcome shame, and get to know my sexuality. 

Over the course of the past year or so, I’ve attended upwards of a dozen sex parties, which put me on an emotional journey that ultimately increased my confidence, openness, and willingness to take risks. 

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way that have helped me progress in my sex life and my life overall.

An intrauterine device (IUD) is a T-shaped device placed in the uterus to prevent sperm from reaching the egg. They are over 99% effective, making them the most effective contraceptive method out there compared to the pill, condoms, and others.

With a pill, or other forms of contraceptives, there’s a huge margin of error because you might forget to take it or use it incorrectly. With an IUD, on the other hand, you can just set it and forget it.

Your vagina works hard for you and sometimes it needs to breathe. Things like scrubbing your vagina with soap and shaving every single day is not only annoying for you, but potentially unhealthy for your vulva and vagina!

Remember, your vagina is your BFF. How would you treat them after a hard day’s work?

We’re not saying you can’t shave or wash down there every day. You can even stay unshaven! We’re simply saying to take a moment to consider whether you’re promoting your vaginal health or not.

Feel like your sex life’s been a bit lacking lately (if not outright nonexistent)? Yeah, that’s kind of a thing right now. 

In a survey by the app Mentimeter and relationship therapist Vienna Pharaon, 36% of people in the U.S. and Europe said the spark between them and their partners has dwindled since quarantine, and 41% were having less sex. 

Anyone else surprised those numbers aren’t higher?

The reason this is happening is fairly simple: People’s libidos drop when they’re under stress, says MFT and sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger, LMFT, CST.

One of the more common questions we get from people about our experience at Lioness is if we’ve found a particular quality that gets you the so-called best orgasm ever. This is sometimes asked in a couple different ways, such as whether having a more intense orgasm is better, if a faster orgasm (under a minute! 30 seconds!) is better, or even whether a “super” orgasm is better. Or any <insert the blank> quality, for that matter ...

Let’s look at real examples of strong/fast/slow/long/quick orgasms from people I’ve asked who have the Lioness Vibrator, a vibrator and app that can actually show you your own arousal and orgasm. (Confused? You’ll see in a minute.)

You’ll never forget your firsts. First crush, first lover, first vibrator. All of them can be extremely confusing to navigate. If you have questions about navigating love, I don’t think I’m your gal... but as someone who knows plenty about sex toys and has built some as well, I can certainly help you navigate the trials and tribulations of buying your first vibrator and learning how to use sex toys. I’ll tell you my mistakes so hopefully you can feel a little bit less in the dark when you buy your first (or second) toy.

Advice from a female sex toy designer on what’s out there, what to look for, and recommendations.

A clitoris pump (also colloquially known as a clit pump, pussy pump, or clit sucking toys) is a device that you place over your clitoris (and sometimes vulva) that provides clitoral stimulation via a cunnilingus-like sensation. Its purpose is to enhance sexual arousal and pleasure, add additional stimulation, and depending on the toy, potentially bring the person using it to orgasm.

When experimenting with Lioness, I’ve sometimes given the suggestion of trying different sensations with different external stimulators, using the Lioness more a measurement tool by keeping the vibration off using the customizable vibration settings. This is an example of what I mean — here, I’ll use the Vesper while using the Lioness’s biofeedback technology to show arousal and orgasm. This is my second in a series, the first being the Zumio.

Imagine this: something, somewhere out there will let you have an orgasm in under a minute. Sound desirable? You’re not alone. Many people are intrigued by the offer of fast, guaranteed orgasms. It's like Amazon Prime Now for orgasms: Same day delivery.

But is faster always better? Not always. That may be surprising, but I’ll explain what I mean with accounts from real people, and real data from those people.

Finally, if—after putting “faster” into perspective—it’s still what you’re going after, we’ll give some tips on how to get there and achieve your fastest orgasm.