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Sex Guides

When the coronavirus pandemic first started in March, I surrendered to the moment. Like everyone else, I cherished my humble toilet paper reserves. I lined up to buy plants at Home Depot like a good millennial. 

I took my financial losses as opportunities to show gratitude for what I have. Instead of worrying about my empty work calendar, I dusted off some craft supplies and watercolors. I gave my brain the permission to do things badly, slowly, and sloppily.

As global panic and fear swirled around me, I stayed calm. I found comfort in solitude. This extended time alone was an opportunity to meet myself once again. 

For the first time in my life, I gave my gender room to breathe...

I could list off all the benefits of exercising, but here’s one of the biggest motivators: research has shown that exercise can improve your orgasms and sexual activity. 

Aerobic exercise improves oxygen and blood flow throughout the body, which can mean long-lasting erections for people with penises and higher clitoral sensitivity for people with vaginas. 

Plus, working out can boost body positivity and make you feel more confident and present in your body.

Racing heart, shallow breathing, tensed muscles, and goosebumps. Sounds pretty sexy, right? Not always.

If we look closely, the physical symptoms of anxiety can overlap with some things we experience during sex and arousal. Though they share these physical experiences, anxiety and sex are not happy bedfellows. “Anxiety is a major contributor to diminishing frequency of sex and diminishing capacity for enjoyment of sex,” says Colorado-based certified sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger.

Let’s explore some of the more common ways anxiety can impact your sex life (and some tips to find let go and enjoy sex again!).

While I can recognize the energizing power and benefits of a masturbation ritual, I can also see when I’ve become too dependent on it. Instead of finding time for workouts, meditation, or journaling, my masturbation habits carry all the weight of relieving my stress.

With quarantine forcing us to bring our workspace into our homes, it has been too easy to sneak off between Zoom calls to rub one out. I started to get antsy, irritable, and impatient throughout my workday. I had trouble concentrating because I was simply biding time until I could get my next fix.

Orgasms can be addictive when I don’t balance that out with other forms of self-care. I began to wonder what masturbation would look like when I’m not using it solely for stress-relief.

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