No matter what you do for work, whether you have kids, or even if you have a long-term relationship or prefer casual hookups, life gets in the way of pleasure in one way or the other.
For couples, this can often create a strain on the relationship. One partner feels like their needs aren’t being met while the other feels like they’ve got to add sex to their list of chores and…well, conflict or connection happens. But we can get into that another time.
Today, I’m going to talk about when the only person in the sexual relationship is you and plead my case for making a masturbation routine.
Is masturbation really that important?
Remember: we listen, and we don’t judge. So if you’re not sure what the point of prioritizing masturbation is, that’s okay! It’s a fair question.
That said — and I’m sure you can guess I was going to say this — masturbation is a really important thing to prioritize, regardless of your sexual status in relation to other people. (AKA, I don’t care if you have sexual partners, you should still be masturbating!)
Not only does it come with a host of health benefits like lowered stress and better sleep, but it also opens up a really important connection between yourself and your body. Being able to provide ourselves with sexual pleasure allows us to connect with our bodies, find what works for us, and lean into arousal where we’re both the giver and taker.
But scheduling masturbation sounds unsexy
Many people operate under the assumption that sex and masturbation are better when they’re spontaneous. As if somehow the mood striking randomly on a Tuesday night is any hotter than the anticipation and build-up that can come with knowing things are going to get hot and heavy.
So if you’re sitting there thinking routine or scheduled masturbation sounds unsexy, you’re not alone — but you also may be limiting your own sexual pleasure.
Masturbation effortlessly fits into each of the categories that ultimately benefit us: health, self-care, and happiness. You don’t have to convince yourself to take care of your body daily, to spend time doing things that bring you joy, or to seek out small pleasures when things feel stressful. At the end of the day, masturbation is no different than that. Just like any other pleasurable pastime or activity that we might enjoy, if we don’t make time to do it, then it’s not going to happen or be as beneficial as possible.
Quick reframes for when scheduling masturbation feels like a chore
- Instead of “Scheduling masturbation is a chore”, try this instead: “My own pleasure is just as worthy of my time as anything else I plan throughout my day.”
- Instead of “I’ll just do it when the mood strikes,” try this instead: “I’m going to carve out time for myself and cultivate an atmosphere of arousal for myself.”
- Instead of “There’s no point, I’ll just have sex with my partner” try this instead: “My partnered sex benefits from my solo play. I deserve all forms of pleasure I can experience inside of my relationship.”
- Don’t believe me on that last part? Well, it’s actually scientifically proven. A research article published in 2024, showed that when women had positive attitudes towards their own masturbation within a relationship, they also showed a statistical significance in overall couples’ sexual satisfaction.
How to create a masturbation routine
You’ve got your concerns addressed, you’re ready to reframe your thinking, and make masturbation a part of your routine. So where do you start?
Well, like any other journey, you cannot know how to get where you want to be without first understanding where you currently are.
Before you just throw a personal block on your calendar and turn on DND, take stock of where you’re currently at in your sexual relationship with yourself and masturbation. Ask yourself the following questions (and answer them honestly!):
- How often do I masturbate?
- Do I think that’s enough for me?
- Do masturbation and orgasms energize me or make me tired?
- Where do I prefer to masturbate?
- How long do I tend to masturbate for?
- Bonus point if you’ve already got your Lioness Smart Vibrator, too! Take a look at your heat map and see what days and times you masturbate the most.
After you have a solid idea of what masturbation looks like for you now, that’s when you start penciling in your pleasure.
Schedule your masturbation and commit to it
What good is a schedule or routine if you don’t follow it? Once you’ve dedicated yourself to making masturbation a part of your routine, don’t compromise on it! Your lunch break, your hot girl walks, and your masturbation sessions are all an important part of your routine, and you deserve the benefits that come from them!
Curious to see if the masturbation routine really works for you? Get your Lioness Smart Vibrator today and join us in May for another adult science project! Can you believe it’s already been an entire year of Sexperiments?
Plan it. Do it. Improve it.
Effortlessly keep track of when you masturbate, how it went, and what you can do to make it better.
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