In the days since the worldwide Black Lives Matter protests began in the spring, we have been finding ways to heal and be better, slowly but surely. We’ve transformed our anger into action. We joined book clubs to learn more about racial justice. We’ve initiated difficult conversations about race in our own communities. We voted a problematic president out of the White House.
But one area of racial justice that’s often overlooked is right in the center of our homes: the bedroom.
Ever since Harvey Weinstein’s fall from grace, the word consent has been the center of heated debates in mainstream media. The definition of sexual consent may seem like common sense, but the experience of giving consent is actually pretty layered.
But what is the definition of consent?
Outside of the military community, Memorial Day is generally pretty sexy. Bikinis, beer and barbecues; steaks, sunscreen, and swimming pools. It’s a day many civilians look forward to.
Inside the military community, however, things can look and feel a bit different. For a military spouse, it’s often a day where we anticipate our service member needing more love than they give. It’s a day when we know they’re going to be thinking of all the people they’ve loved and lost - people they’ve endured everything with, from boot camp to wars.
This begs the question; how do you maintain intimacy with something like death and loss hanging heavy in the air? The answer is so simple, it may surprise you!
What goes up must come down! Isaac Newton said it first, and it is true for much more than physical objects controlled by gravity.
When we reach any kind of elated and euphoric state, we're bound for an inevitable come-down, and—if we don't take care—potentially a huge crash. Most of us have at some point experienced feeling down or even depressed after a blissful or mind-blowing event, whether a party, a holiday, an exerting physical performance or something else that brings us high.
Sometimes the intensity and spontaneity of a quickie satisfies your sex craving. And especially when you and your partner both have over-packed calendars, something's better than nothing. But other times, a slow buildup with plenty of foreplay leads to increased intimacy, lower inhibitions, and more enjoyable sex. Most of us even want more of it: While foreplay tends to last only 12 minutes, both sexes would like it to last about 18 minutes.
In that spirit, here's everything you need to know about foreplay, plus ideas for how to liven it up if you want more than the typical makeout session.