Picture by Liz Klinger, CEO & Co-founder of Lioness
By Stephanie Delgado and Liz Klinger, CEO & Co-founder of Lioness
Table of Contents
How long does it take you to orgasm?
If something or someone was able to give you an orgasm in under a minute, would that sound enticing? If your answer is “yes,” you’re not alone.
Many people are intrigued by the offer of fast, guaranteed orgasms. With a delivery time that puts Amazon Prime to shame, who wouldn’t be interested?
But one question remains: are faster orgasms always better? We say not always (and we’ve got real data from real people to show it).
If our data doesn’t convince you to slow down, though, we’ve got 5 tips on how to orgasm faster.
Why do people want faster orgasms?
1. Fear of taking too long
If a partner has ever told you that it was “hard” to get you off, or that you took a long time, you may be interested in having faster orgasm. Or, maybe you’re just basing your perception of how long it takes to orgasm off of pornography and sex scenes in movies.
Whatever the reason might be, you’re not alone. Many people often wonder if they’re taking too long to orgasm—that is, if they’re even climaxing at all.
2. To have better sex
When is the last time you saw someone win an award for being the slowest? We’re betting you haven’t, though imagining a gold medal for “World’s Slowest Runner” makes for a good laugh.
Because of this assumed correlation between “better” being “faster,” many people think faster sex is the same thing as better sex. While quickies can be very fun, they’re certainly not the only way to have good sex. Sometimes the best sex can be when you spend time on foreplay and prolonging arousal for an even more pleasurable ending.
3. Not very much time for sex
Between work and other responsibilities—especially ones that can talk and ask for snacks—it can be hard to find the time for longer sex sessions.
Stress and obligations have a nasty way of getting in the way of doin’ the nasty, often leading people to partake in those quickies we mentioned earlier. And sometimes, in the middle of a stressful day, a quickie topped off with an orgasm is just the thing you need to get through the rest of the day.
4. Craving release for stress relief
Orgasms are known to have stress relieving effects. On those days when stress and anxiety are high, it’s perfectly normal to crave the release of a good orgasm.
Being able to have a faster orgasm means quicker stress relief without any drawn out work to get there.
Are faster orgasms better?
Sometimes faster orgasms may be better, but not always. Don’t believe us? Check out a few real life examples below.
These people are able to orgasm faster and find pleasure using a variety of techniques. And in some cases, better also means faster:
Case #1: Fast is nice, but have you ever tried slowing down?
“My wholemasturbation session lasted 3x longer than normal. One TMI thing I’ve learned while being a part of Lioness is that I’m a quicker masturbator than most. Most of my sessions last about 2 minutes… With theweed lube though, I lasted for 5 minutes and 28 seconds…and every second was so enjoyable I didn’t want it to stop.”
While some people are consistently faster than others when it comes to having an orgasm, they’re not always more enjoyable than taking the scenic route to get there.
Even people who can have multiple orgasms within a short timeframe find that under certain conditions—such as with the use of weed lube as shown above—longer sessions are particularly pleasurable.
Case #2: Controlling orgasms as a way to build up to a better climax
“I feel more and more of a build up until I eventually release — let me tell you, it feels GREAT!!! … When the orgasm finally happened, it looked (and felt) like a roller coaster.”
Some people deliberately hold back from climaxing in order to build up arousal even more and make their climax feel more satisfying. This technique is called edging ororgasm control.
It’s commonly talked about amongst folks who are looking to last longer in bed, but you can also use it to build up your pleasure even more. It might take longer than if you were to just climax the minute you feel the urge to, but you’ll find effort is often worthwhile.
Case 3: Keep going...and going and going and going
“My firstorgasm was a little too overwhelming to be pleasurable … This orgasm was meh, and I wasn’t 100% satisfied, so I kept going.
“The second orgasm was a little harder to get to — it took more time, more work, more patience. But the result was way more pleasurable. I didn’t tense up nearly as much as I did before, so I was better able to enjoy the orgasm and let it go longer. You can see this in the graph — the period of heightened contractions is longer, though less ‘strong’ in terms of the contractions.”
Much like with Case #2, this person also found that spending a little more time to have multiple orgasms was more satisfying than stopping after the first—in fact, their first orgasm was less pleasurable than their second!
We’ve found a number of folks gasp when they see charts with strong spikes like this. They assume that having hard, intense orgasms must be extremely pleasurable (kind of like how some people assume that a "tighter" vagina is better). It seems the correlation between higher, stronger, and better is just as misleading as that between faster and better… but as with speed, sometimes having too strong of a reaction can be more uncomfortable than pleasurable.
Case 4: There is a time and place for faster and better
Despite the examples above that may seem to say otherwise, we cannot tell you that slower orgasms are always better.
In fact, there are certain times when a great orgasm comes quickly, even if you’re not hoping for it! Times like when you’re really relaxed on vacation, or other times when you’re insanely aroused may lead to faster, better orgasms. Other times, however, life may intrude and you just need to rub one out for a quick release and get on with your day.
Since sex and pleasure are multi-faceted, individual, and complex, there are and always will be many, many ways to have enjoyable and satisfying experiences—with or without having an orgasm. There are infinite dimensions to sex and pleasure, and they change depending on the person and the day.
Sometimes going faster will be part of the equation that leads to satisfying sex, but sometimes something slower and more relaxed that will satisfy and delight you even more.
Our overarching advice is to approach pleasure with an open mind and listen to what your body wants at the moment. If you do that, the journey should be illuminating no matter what it looks like.
How to speed up your orgasms
So maybe all that stuff about how slowing down can be just as exciting (if not more) as speeding up isn’t what you’re looking for. Perhaps you came here to find out how to have faster orgasms, and that’s it.
While it’s impossible to give a one size fits all approach to faster orgasms, we’ve compiled a list of ways that may lead to quicker orgasms.
Check out our recommendations below:
1. Don’t do the same thing you always do
What’s that overused quote about doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results? Your pleasure is a bit like that.
If you want to experience different kinds of orgasms—whether that be faster, slower, or something else... but better—you’ll have to do something else.Repetition can get boring, after all.
Trying a new technique, a new sex toy, or even addressing other aspects of your stress and health are all great ways to switch up your experience with your pleasure. Who knows? Maybe taking a meditation class to manage your stress better will give you faster orgasms. Maybe using a clitoral stimulator instead of a vibrator will do the trick.
The only way to know is to try!
2. Keep a sex journal
As the old saying goes, “never measured, never improved.”
Consider approaching your orgasms like a Sex Scientist by keeping track of what you’re trying, how it feels, and the data (read, orgasms) each experience produces.
In addition to what you’re trying, keep track of external factors as well, such as how you’re feeling, what you’re going through, your overall health, etc. This is actually something Lioness Vibrator users have access to within our app! Our built in sex journal makes tracking, filtering, and comparing various factors easier than flipping through a paper notebook.
Whether you use an app like ours (that's also paired with a smart vibrator) or something else, though, the benefits will be evident. Some therapists recommend keeping a sex journal like this because you may not remember how you were feeling in this moment a month from now. A detailed journal is a great way to look back and see what was happening and how it may have been affecting your pleasure. (Our app just makes it easier to take a quick look at how things were going over time).
3. Talk to your doctor & maintain your health
If you find that you’ve been experiencing ongoing issues with your pleasure, it may be a good idea to speak with your doctor. Extended periods of intense stress and other health issues are known to negatively affect people’s pleasure, and can be indicators of other health conditions.
Getting a check-up and maintaining your overall health are great ways to make sure you’re giving yourself the best shot at a fulfilling sex life.
4. Find what really arouses you and let it have its way with you
Now, if you’re going to explore things that really arouse you like kinks and fetishes with a partner, you’ll need to make sure you have an enthusiastic yes from all involved.
If you choose to explore them on your own through masturbation, however, all you need is some lube, a good sex toy, and the right atmosphere.
One of the best ways to experiment with faster orgasms is to get yourself as aroused as possible. One of the easiest ways to do that is through fantasy.
Next time you want to end your day with a quick orgasm, spend the day with one of your favorite fantasies on repeat in your mind. Keep it there and let it turn you on until you finally have the chance to masturbate or explore it further with a partner.
5. Failure isn’t the end
Sexual flops and unsatisfying sessions are inevitable. If we all had perfect scores in the orgasm department, we wouldn’t be here talking about new things to try. That’s perfectly fine!
Whether your flop is a result of not being fully in the mood or something embarrassing that happens in the middle of trying to have a faster orgasm, don’t let it get you down. These things happen to all of us, even if we’re not all flaunting how many times we didn’t reach orgasm or have a great time in bed.
Instead of putting more pressure on yourself to perform, get comfortable with being vulnerable and open about what just didn’t work. The more honest you can be about your pleasure and sexual experiences, the wider the door to satisfaction opens.
Finally, keep in mind that sex in all its forms and orgasms don’t need to be a marathon all the time. If you’re used to racing to the finish line, consider slowing down to smell the roses. And if you’re used to taking the scenic route, don’t be afraid to kick it into drive and take a cruise in the fast lane from time to time.
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