Imagine this: there’s something, somewhere, that will enable you to have an orgasm in under a minute. Sound desirable? You’re not alone. Many people are intrigued by the offer of fast, guaranteed orgasms. Almost like an Amazon Prime Now for orgasms: Same day delivery.
But is faster always better? Not always. That may be surprising, but I’ll explain what I mean with accounts from real people, and real data from those people.
Finally, if—after putting “faster” into perspective—it’s still what you’re going after, we’ll give some tips on how to get there and achieve your fastest orgasm.
Why do people want faster orgasms?
1. Fear of taking too long
Perhaps a partner once said that it was hard to get you off or that it took a long time, or maybe you’re basing your perception of speed on pornography or movies. Whatever the reason might be, some of us wonder in the back of our minds if we’re taking too long to orgasm (if we climax at all).
2. To have better sex
You don’t often see awards for “slowest” (slowest runner?) — so it’s easy to think faster means better sex.
3. Because you don’t have much time
Let’s be honest, no matter who you are, we all have a ton of responsibilities and stress. Sometimes it’d be nice to have a quickie and then get with our day.
Are faster orgasms better?
Sometimes, but not always. Here are a couple of cases of people who can orgasm faster, people who find pleasure using a variety of techniques, and yes, cases when better also means faster.
Case 1: The grass is not always greener on the other side
Some people are consistently fast at having an orgasm. Sometimes they can even have multiple orgasms within a short timeframe. Before you decide to call the orgasm police on these people, get this: some of the faster folks find that certain longer sessions can be particularly pleasurable. Take this experience with cannabis lube:
“My whole masturbation session lasted 3x longer than normal. One TMI thing I’ve learned while being a part of Lioness is that I’m a quicker masturbator than most. Most of my sessions last about 2 minutes… With the weed lube though, I lasted for 5 minutes and 28 seconds…and every second was so enjoyable I didn’t want it to stop.”
Case 2: Spending more time on the build-up can be better
Some people deliberately hold back from climaxing in order to build up arousal even more and make their climax feel more satisfying. This technique is called edging or orgasm control. It’s commonly talked about amongst folks who are looking to last longer in bed, but you can also use it to build up your pleasure even more. It might take longer than if you were to just climax the minute you feel the urge to, but you might find that the effort is worthwhile.
“I feel more and more of a build up until I eventually release — let me tell you, it feels GREAT!!! … When the orgasm finally happened, it looked (and felt) like a roller coaster.”
Case 3: Sometimes the second round is better
A number of folks gasp when they see charts with strong spikes like this. They think that having hard, intense orgasms must be extremely pleasurable (since a higher number is better … right?). Hearing from the person who has these experiences though, stronger doesn’t always mean better:
“My first orgasm was a little too overwhelming to be pleasurable … This orgasm was meh, and I wasn’t 100% satisfied, so I kept going.”
Like with the previous case, this person also found that spending a little more time was more satisfying than stopping after the first.
“The second orgasm was a little harder to get to — it took more time, more work, more patience. But the result was way more pleasurable. I didn’t tense up nearly as much as I did before, so I was better able to enjoy the orgasm and let it go longer. You can see this in the graph — the period of heightened contractions is longer, though less ‘strong’ in terms of the contractions.”
Case 4: Sometimes faster is actually better
There are certain times when a great orgasm comes quickly. You’re on vacation, you might be relaxed, and you’re probably already pretty aroused. In other cases, life intrudes and you just need to rub one out and get on with your day. Either way, either mindblowing (but fast) or fast as its own virtue, you don’t always need things to be a marathon.
There are many ways to have great sex and great orgasms
In summary: sex and pleasure are multi-faceted, individual, and complex. There are many, many ways to have enjoyable and satisfying experiences, with or without having an orgasm. There are infinite dimensions to sex and pleasure. It can change depending on the person and the day.
Sometimes fast is part of that equation to satisfying sex, but sometimes there’s something else that will satisfy and delight you even more. My overarching advice is to approach pleasure with an open mind and listen to what your body wants at the moment. If you do that, whatever the journey should be illuminating.
How to speed up
You came here to find out how to have faster orgasms. It’s hard to come up with specific advice because everyone is coming from different places, but if you want to explore faster (or anything else), here are a couple guidelines I’d recommend:
Try new things. It’s hard to discover something new about yourself if you’re doing the same thing every time. In fact, repetition could get boring after a while and make things feel less satisfying.
Whether it’s trying a new technique, a new toy, or addressing other aspects of your stress and health, change things up in your life and see how that affects your pleasure. Who knows, maybe taking a meditation class to manage your stress better could be the difference between you and a faster orgasm.
Track your pleasure / Keep a sex journal
As the old saying goes: “Never measured, never improved.” If you’re trying new things but not keeping track, it might be hard to remember how you were feeling now versus a month ago. Some therapists recommend keeping a sex journal for this reason, so you can track your progress and look back to see what might be happening that is affecting your sex life.
Get a checkup, if relevant, for any health-related issues holding you back
If you find that you’ve been having trouble feeling satisfied in bed for a while, you may want to experiment and track to see what’s going on, especially if you might be experiencing some pretty intense stress or even a health issue that’s keeping you from experiencing pleasure. If you think it might be the latter, you may want to see a doctor and get an overall checkup if you haven’t recently. Sometimes your health may be affecting your pleasure, and that can affect a lot of other things in your life, too.
Finally, don’t be afraid of flops
Sometimes we have an unsatisfying session … and that’s perfectly fine. Nothing is ever perfect. There are a lot of reasons why we might not be feeling in the mood now and then. And if the flop is something that feels embarrassing or dumb, don’t be afraid to laugh it off. It happens to the best of us, even if we’re not forthright with talking about the dumb things that might happen in our sex lives. Getting comfortable with being vulnerable and open can help you feel more satisfied with your pleasure in the future—and hopefully, you can enjoy the entire process even more than you do now.
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