The only way to stop yourself from going over the edge, is to know exactly where your boundaries are…and that’s not a piece of Instagram wisdom or a cryptic Facebook post from my youth. That’s my advice for learning how to edge and control your orgasms.
But before you can teeter on the brink of pleasure, you need to be familiar with what your personal journey to orgasm looks and feels like. So grab your handy, dandy Lioness Smart Vibrator and your phone. We’re going to get into how you can use Live View to find the edge of pleasure and master the art of controlled orgasms through three different kinds of sessions.
Session 1: Find your baseline
We’ve talked about this before, but having a baseline session with your Lioness is good practice no matter how you’re experimenting. Knowing where your pleasure journey starts makes it a lot easier to explore new things later.
The gist of creating a baseline session is this: using live view, masturbate all the way to orgasm just as you normally would. No new tingling lubes, CBD serums, or techniques. Just do what you normally do and let yourself climax without interruption.
During this session, be sure to gently press down on the screen of your phone while you’re actively having an orgasm. This will tell you what your O looks like. (P.S. It’s best to have a few sessions with orgasms…for science, of course…not that you need permission to masturbate more.)
Questions to answer during your post-session survey: What does my orgasm look like? What does it feel like? What brings me to orgasm reliably? How long does my orgasm last and how pleasurable is it on a scale of 1-5?
Sessions 2 - 4: Learn your Plateau Phase
The plateau phase of sex and masturbation is the “pre-orgasm” period of time where you’re not quite there but you’re definitely on your way. (If you’re having sex with someone with a vulva, this is that time where they say “don’t stop” and it actually means “do not change a single thing or I will not reach the pinnacle of pleasure and then I will bite your head off like a praying mantis.” But anyway, back to edging with the Lioness…)
During these live view sessions, you’re going to be paying attention to your body and gently pushing down on your phone screen when you are close to orgasm. Then, let go when you “let go.” Some great physiological markers for the plateau phase are an increased heart rate, shallow breathing, tension building in your body, and that seemingly insatiable urge for more sexual stimulation.
At the end of your session when your Lioness app prompts you to fill out your post-session survey, make sure you include some notes about what your plateau phase really felt like for you. Reflecting on these questions immediately will help you when it’s time to try edging later.
Questions to answer during your post-session survey: What marker did you notice first, which marker came last, and at what point did you know there was no turning back?
Sessions 5 - 10: Ruin your orgasm
Okay, look. It’s painful to type out but sometimes pain and pleasure go together really well. If you’re going to learn to edge, you need to learn what your failed O’s look and feel like. You’re also going to need to hone in on what destroys your chance of finishing, and what just makes it a little harder than normal.
For these sessions, you’re going to do the same thing you did in the previous ones — only when it comes time to orgasm, you’re going to experiment with denying yourself that orgasm. Not everyone will need 5 sessions, but like I mentioned in my last post on edging, what works for you won’t work for everyone. It’s good to plan for some experimenting.
Before you jump into Live View and deny your orgasms, create a list of 3-5 edging techniques you want to experiment with. If you’re not sure where to start, here’s a few ideas:
- Stop all forms of stimulation
- Use pain/overstimulation
- Slow down (lower vibrations, less pressure, etc.)
- Think of something that turns you off
Once you have your list, it’s time to create that many sessions and only try one technique per session. Seeing what your data looks like without orgasm and being able to discern what kills your arousal versus what momentarily dulls it will help as you venture further into the world of edging.
Questions to answer during your post-session survey: Was I completely unaroused after using this technique? How did my body feel being denied the orgasm? Would I be able to resume stimulation and bring myself to completion?
You’re ready to give edging a try!
Now that you know what your orgasm looks like, what your plateau phase feels like, and what dulls your arousal instead of squashes it, you are ready to give edging a try!
Remember, edging is not about orgasm denial — it’s about delay. Use the techniques you found in your 5th+ sessions when you start to feel like you did in your 2nd+ sessions to stop and start arousal multiple times during one masturbation session. After you’ve delayed your orgasm 2 or 3 times in one session, let yourself finish.
From there, you can compare your orgasm from your baseline session to your edging session and answer the age old question: does edging actually lead to better orgasms?
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