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Edging: Controlling orgasms for better orgasms

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Photo By Mikhail Mikhail Nilov on Pexels


Using lubes and sex toys to explore your body and improve your orgasms are great ways to indulge in pleasure. But what if I told you there was a way to have better orgasms — no new toys, no fancy lubes, and no partner needed?

Before you break the bank on better orgasms, consider giving edging a try. Here’s everything you need to know about delayed orgasms and how they can lead to improved pleasure.

What is sexual edging?

Edging (also referred to as delayed orgasms or controlled orgasms) is the act of getting as close to orgasm as possible before stopping, waiting a bit, and starting the entire process again during one masturbation/sex session. This can be done alone or with a partner, and can even move from more vanilla sex into BDSM sex when power dynamics are included.

The basic idea is that by delaying orgasm, you’re delaying pleasure and building up to something more explosive.

How do you edge / delay your orgasm?

The internet is full of tips and tricks for people of all anatomies when it comes to edging. I’ve seen everything from “pinch your penis” to “think of something sad,” and while those may work for some people, there’s no one size fits all way to edge your self toward and away from orgasm.

So let’s take a look at some general tips for you to refer to as you learn to edge:

  1. Do it alone first. Good sex requires great communication, so if you expect a partner to be able to help you with edging, you’re going to need to know what works. Take a few weeks and incorporate edging into your masturbation routine before you give it a go with someone else.

  2. Identify what it feels like before your orgasm. Look, we’re always going to be sex nerds here at Lioness so we’re always going to suggest that you track and learn your own pleasure. In some cultures, data is king but for us it’s simply good fucking pleasure practice.

    Before you try delaying your orgasms during masturbation, spend some time bringing yourself to orgasm quite frequently. Pay attention to what your body does and feels like right before you climax, write that down, and then use it to identify when you’re going to do tip 3.

  3. When you feel like you’re close to orgasm, stop stimulating yourself until you’ve cooled down a bit. That nerdy, dirty data you collected from tip 2 is going to be your best friend when it comes time to stop the fireworks.

    After you’ve blocked your own cock, give yourself some time to cool off, but don’t become completely unaroused. Spend time stimulating other parts of your body or thinking of things that turn you on without going over the edge (see, that’s where the name comes from).

    The goal is not to become unaroused, it’s just to temporarily stop that O!
  4. When you’ve cooled off for a few minutes, start masturbating all over again. Remember, the goal is to get as close to orgasm as possible before stopping completely.

Repeat tips 3 and 4 for as long as you’d like within one session. Then, when you’ve had enough of the stop/start of pleasure…go off, sis. 😉

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Photo by Tsvetoslav Hristov on Unsplash

Is edging DEFINITELY going to give me better orgasms?

You know the answer already, you just need me to say it (and that’s okay).

Edging, like all other ways to play in the world of pleasure, is not guaranteed to give you a better orgasm. For some people, delaying climax can lead to discomfort or unwanted pain. For others, it may just kill the mood.

If you find edging is harshin’ your mellow and taking your climax from OH! to ...oh… then it may be time to try something different (such as limiting the amount of times you stop/start to just once or twice) or give edging a rest altogether. If you need to cum when you’re body is ready to cum, thats totally fine. But the only way you’ll ever know if better O’s are on the other side of edging is to get yourself there again, and again, and again before finally letting yourself fall over.


Visualize the edge of pleasure with the Lioness Smart Vibrator

lioness smart vibratorAll good sex scientists deserve the best sex toys and tools. Elevate your edging journey with the Lioness Smart Vibrator. The world’s only biofeedback vibrator and intuitive mobile app make it incredibly easy to see when you’re on the brink of pleasure, and when you’ve found it.

Take yourself to the edge of smarter orgasms (and back again) as many times as you’d like.


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