How to have the best orgasm? Examples, data and charts of real orgasms | Lioness
Literally *see* your own orgasm with the Lioness Vibrator | Free U.S. shipping Literally *see* your own orgasm with the Lioness Vibrator | Discrete packaging | Free U.S. shipping

How to have the best orgasm? Examples, data, and charts of real orgasms

Best Orgasm Trophy

One of the more common questions we get from people about our experience at Lioness is if we’ve found a particular quality that gets you the so-called best orgasm ever. This is sometimes asked in a couple different ways, such as whether having a more intense orgasm is better, if a faster orgasm (under a minute! 30 seconds!) is better, or even whether a “super” orgasm is better. Or any <insert the blank> quality, for that matter.

Whether it’s how much we’ve run, worked, or orgasmed, we obsess over superlatives. We want something ~amazing~. And there are plenty of products that are happy to promise you better, faster, and stronger—whether they can follow through on their promise is another matter. There are also plenty of people who insist that their experience or preference is the best, and still others who insist it’s their way or the highway.

Trophy Winner

This idea of seeking to be better can be motivating—to a point. It can help us master our craft, since “practice makes perfect” ... right? But constantly seeking better without appreciating what we have now can also backfire because, in many of those cases, we want better because we don’t feel good enough as we are now. If you feel that way, no matter how “good” you get, you might never feel good enough.

But I digress. You’re here because you actually want to know what’s better. And we have a tool that can show arousal and orgasm in a number of different dimensions over time.

I’ll show you what I mean.

The answer to this question is more complicated than a simple measurement. Honestly, I kind of wish it was a simple answer because then my article here could be much shorter. :P But as you’d expect, the real world is messy.

Although we’ve been able to quantify and visualize the variety of experiences of pleasure, and we’ve seen how developing new learning tools have benefited people who seek them out, there isn’t a neat, little package of qualities or tips that will guarantee better sex universally. Data can help describe experiences though, and that’s what we’re about to do here.

Let’s take a look at real examples of strong/fast/slow/long/quick orgasms from people I’ve asked who have the Lioness Vibrator, a vibrator and app that can actually show you your own arousal and orgasm. (Confused? You’ll see in a minute.)

1. Stronger isn’t always better like a lot of people think. It can be painful.

Edging Multiple Strong Orgasms

A number of folks gasp when they see charts that include very dramatic pelvic floor contractions. They think that having hard, intense orgasms must be extremely pleasurable. Hearing from the person who has these experiences though, stronger doesn’t necessarily mean better. Here’s an excerpt about her experience (from our article on edging):

“My first orgasm was a little too overwhelming to be pleasurable. I usually tense up during orgasm, but this one was way too much. It was as if it came on before I was ready, but once it was there I couldn’t stop it. You can see in the graph the short but very strong period of contractions. This orgasm was meh, and I wasn’t 100% satisfied, so I kept going.

The second orgasm was a little harder to get to — it took more time, more work, more patience. But the result was way more pleasurable. I didn’t tense up nearly as much as I did before, so I was better able to enjoy the orgasm and let it go longer. You can see this in the graph — the period of heightened contractions is longer, though less “strong” in terms of the contractions.”

2. Speedy orgasms can stop the party before it really gets started.

Some of us have become obsessed with having a quick orgasm. It makes sense — our culture in the U.S. encourages a go-go-go attitude, so the idea of pausing to spend just a little more time in bed might seem like a daunting endeavor. Furthermore, many of us have felt self-conscious about whether we’ll orgasm at all or have had bad experiences hearing from partners about how we take so long … which might cause us to take longer to orgasm (if it happens at all).

But the grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side … the people who are fast at climaxing (one female friend described it as being a “two pump chump”) may feel like they are unable to fully appreciate and build up their pleasure in a way that’s, well, pleasurable.

This experience is best exemplified by my co-founder Anna’s recent experience using pot lube:

“My whole masturbation session lasted 3x longer than normal. One TMI thing I’ve learned while being a part of Lioness is that I’m a quicker masturbator than most. Most of my sessions last about 2 minutes… I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing, but I know a lot of people who see my graphs like to point it out in their surprise while I fluster to try to come up with a reason. With the weed lube though, I lasted for 5 minutes and 28 seconds…and every second was so enjoyable I didn’t want it to stop.”

Fast isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes being able to spend more time can mean that there’s more time to build up for a longer, more pleasurable climax. (that’s partly why edging is popular—it’s literally prolonging the build-up so the climax can feel more pleasurable)

3. Getting super tight can limit your pleasure or just be painful.

Sad OrgasmBest Happy Orgasm 2018

Left: Orgasm while being tighter. Right: Orgasm while being more relaxed.

Another one that I’ve seen people comment on is when a session shows that a pelvic floor is tighter. They may assume that having a tighter pelvic floor is better. Comments to practice kegels and fears of having a “loose vagina” are usually mentioned in the same breath if you want to get tighter.

Contrary to what you’d expect, tighter is not necessarily better. Practicing kegels has a time and place, but overdoing it, doing them in an incorrect way, or doing them when you don’t need them may do more harm than good.

From personal experience, I’m one of those people who’s gotten comments that some of my charts make me look “tight” (and therefore those experiences are presumably better). But some of my best experiences have been when I’m relaxed, both physically and mentally. What I’ve found for myself is that tightness can decrease the range my muscles can move, and that can sometimes mean less pleasurable orgasms.

Think of it like moving your arms — if you’ve been to a physical therapist, for say, arm pain, they’ll test the range of motion in your arms. If you have limited motion and your arm is tight when trying certain movements, you may have gotten that from an injury and would get exercises to stretch, loosen, or tone certain muscles. Likewise, it’s a similar concept with the pelvic floor. Having a constantly clenched up pelvic floor from doing too many kegels, lack of exercise, or from having trouble relaxing your limbs, can also inhibit your pleasure.

Other times I’ve personally witnessed tighter not necessarily being better — if I drink too much (too much alcohol = dry vag usually accompanying a bout of anxiety) or trying certain toys that use suction to stimulate (too much stimulation so my body recoils instead of relaxes). This isn’t everyone’s experience with these things, of course, but the general takeaway you should think about from my experiences is that there are certain things that make you feel a certain way, and whatever it is, that can be helpful or inhibitive to your pleasure.

4. Orgasm “Au Natural” is not necessarily a superior form of orgasm

Gwenyth Paltrow Vagina Steaming

Do vibrators cause you to get desensitized and cause you to feel less pleasure? We’ve taken a deeper dive into the topic here (plus citations), but to summarize for this article, it seems like the answer is more than often no, vibrators (and other sex toys) don’t affect your long-term ability to experience pleasure and have orgasms:

“The research consensus is basically “no.” A direct survey of the topic has found that numbness/pain/irritation rarely result, and when they do rarely last for more than one day.¹

In general, we actually see positive associations between vibrator use and satisfaction/orgasms during partnered sex.² ³ This is likely largely driven by sexual openness of those who do use vibrators more, but vibrators at least don’t seem to be a detriment.”

There’s also a lot that goes into changes in your sex drive, so if you do notice something going on, take a holistic look at your overall physical and mental health, your relationship, and anything else that may have recently changed in your life.

5. More orgasms are not always better

Multiple Orgasms

Circled above: Multiple orgasms in one session.

Is having a session of multiple orgasms better? What are multiple orgasms, anyway? We took a deeper dive into the topic here. At least for this article, if you’re sensing that the theme of these answers are “it depends” … you’d be correct.

Some people can’t get enough of multiple orgasms or find that the second and third ones are even better than the first (the first being more of a “warm-up orgasm”). Other folks are indifferent, and still others find that trying to have multiple is more effort than it’s worth.

Going back to the first person I mentioned who had “stronger” orgasms — she also had mentioned that multiple orgasms were practically a requirement for her because the later ones were more enjoyable. For myself? Two’s cool, but I’m happy with one good one, too. Orgasms are great and all, but I have a company to run and orgasms to make possible for thousands of people. ;)

First OrgasmSecond Orgasm

Left: First orgasm from above session. Right: Second orgasm.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t try new things. Trying new things is good and exciting. Just don’t be disappointed if you find that your body isn’t super keen on something. There’s always another time to try it or another experience you might end up enjoying better. The name of the game is finding something that feels good for you and your awesome body!

So what makes a “good orgasm”?

With all that said, here are my three recommendations for having the best orgasms ever...

1. Explore and be open to whatever happens

Learn from failures

Experiment, try new things, and communicate—both with your partner, but also by being honest with yourself. Be O.K. with failing or goofing up on something. It’s the only way you’ll find what you do like and keep things fresh. Facing something that is potentially funny, embarrassing, or unexpected can be vulnerable and even more intimate than if your adventure went exactly as planned.

2. Always learn more about your body

Vagina Mirror Self Reflection

It might seem basic, but brushing up on anatomy and taking some time to explore your own unique body can do wonders for getting comfortable with yourself and feeling the pleasure you want (and deserve). Think of it like a Sex Ed 201. Even if you think you know everything, especially with a topic like sexual pleasure that hasn’t gotten a lot of attention, there’s always something new to learn, and revisiting topics with a fresh perspective usually means you’ll learn something else you didn’t know before. Furthermore, your body changes throughout your lifetime, so your experience in your teens may be very different in your 20s, 40s, 60s, and onward. Keep an open mind and learn, learn, learn.

If you’re curious, we have a couple in-depth articles on the clitoris, vulva, g-spot, and more that probably go way more into the topic way more than your sex ed class ever did!

3. Try to be healthy

Mindy Project — threw out pedometer because she couldn't measure exercise from masturbation

We’re not just talking about focusing on the health of your genitals. We’re talking about trying to be healthy in general. The body is a system—everything is connected. When something goes wrong, it can have a ripple effect on your overall health. Health problems, stress, certain medications, and injuries can be detrimental to your sex life, too, so keep an eye out for changes in your sex drive/arousal/desire, and don’t be afraid to ask a doctor if you notice something different.

Case in point: When I talked to an individual who worked with one of the erectile dysfunction companies in the 90s, they mentioned that the launch of medications like Viagra not only helped with erections, it also helped doctors spot heart disease much earlier … because if these (mostly) guys were coming in for erection problems, they likely also had other issues with circulation, including heart problems. While there hasn’t been a whole lot written about genital arousal and heart health for women, it’s not a far jump to see changes in arousal and pleasure as a sign to get a check up on your overall health.

Not only could taking care of your health make your sex life better, it could also save your life.

 

===
 
Want to find your best orgasm? The Lioness may be able to help!

Lioness Smart VibratorLioness is the first and only vibrator that helps you improve your orgasms.
 
The world’s most advanced vibrator. Precision sensors let you literally see your arousal and orgasm. Experiment, understand yourself, and have better orgasms — after all, as the saying goes, “never measured, never improved."
 
Click here to learn more.

 

 

Related Posts

Let's get nerdy with data
Analyze your data further. Make your own art/data viz with your sessions! Some inspiration to get you thinking: This ...
Read More
Immortalize your orgasm in a song
Von's making a new song... and she's inviting you to participate! Who is Von? Von is a New York City-based pop star/...
Read More
Make your own orgasm art!
Artgasm from your phone See your pleasure as a work of art. You can view it from the privacy of your app, save it to ...
Read More
}