Just like dirty talking, good sexting takes practice, and, not to mention, a fair share of confidence. Translating our sultry thoughts and fantasies into cohesive sentences, that also arouse another, isn’t an easy feat. It’s often hard to know where to start, what to say, and not to mention, how to say it.
So you want to try double penetration, but your Google searches are bringing up porn fantasies and positions that can only be achieved by world class gymnasts in outer space rather than actual advice. We can relate.
You might have heard terms like “daddy issues,” “thirsty,” or “dramatic” to describe the behavior of women and femmes who face difficulties with unhealthy relationships and sexual patterns. Attachment theory—the study of how childhood attachment patterns affect how we act in adult relationships—can help explain some of these patterns, no slut-shaming undertone required.
Maybe you’re a serial monogamist trying to see what the wild world of casual dating has to offer. Maybe you find yourself constantly chasing emotionally unavailable people. Maybe you can’t figure out why you can’t stop texting bae 85 times in a row when you’re upset.
When you’re ready to break out of a pattern that no longer serves you, attachment theory can help you make sense of intense emotions and impulses.
Last summer, after my last relationship ended, a friend encouraged me to revel in my newfound freedom by going to sex parties. Yup, those are what they sound like — parties for sex.
But for me, they were much more than that. They were places for me to meet sex-positive people, overcome shame, and get to know my sexuality.
Over the course of the past year or so, I’ve attended upwards of a dozen sex parties, which put me onan emotional journey that ultimately increased my confidence, openness, and willingness to take risks.
Here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way that have helped me progress in my sex life and my life overall.