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By Lindsay Modglin
When we think about achieving a mind-blowing orgasm, we often imagine our favorite positions and fantasies, or perhaps a session with theLioness Smart Vibrator. But do you ever stop to think about how breathing affects your orgasms?
Breathing is a natural body function, so it’s easy to overlook. It happens without thinking, so why think about it?
The truth is,introducing simple breathing techniques into the bedroom can help ignite new feelings of pleasure that can result in a more powerful orgasm.
I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to play around with unexplored techniques in hopes of reaching a new level of sensations in the bedroom.
How can breathing techniques result in better orgasms?
Breathing is a calming mechanism for our body. Breath-control has proved to aid our bodies byimproving focus, managing emotions, and decreasing stress levels.
When we use deep breathing techniques, we’re telling our brain it’s time to relax. The brain sends this message to the rest of the body, in turn, decreasing our blood pressure and heart rate.
With a relaxed body and mind, we can turn our awareness to the sensations in our body - making us much more open to experiencing the thrill of arousal.
Breathing also increases blood flow throughout the body. An increase of blood flow to the genitals is necessary during sex in that it’s responsible for the swelling of the clitoris and labia, as well as the penile erection.
“Breathing techniques allow individuals to regulate many parts of their body including their orgasms”, saysDr. Michael Stokes, LMHC, sex therapist of Rhode Island Sex Therapy. “When you control your breathing, you are able to be much more mindful of what is happening around you, but also what is happening in your body.”
So, with breath being such a powerful tool, both emotionally and physically, is it really a surprise that it can take your orgasms from good to unbelievable?
What are the best breathing techniques for better orgasms?
Synchronized Breathing: This technique is done by matching your breathing pattern with your partner’s. Follow their lead by inhaling and exhaling simultaneously.
The Counting Breath: Counting is a common breathing technique where you inhale for a count of 5, pause, and exhale for a count of 5.
Belly Breathing: This approach engages your diaphragm, contracting it downward during inhalation and upwards as you exhale. To practice, place your hand on your belly and inhale deeply as your stomach pushes outward. Breathe out through pursed lips as your hand moves back in toward your body.
When it comes to the best breathing techniques, it’s all about your body and preferences. The only way to know what works best for you is to jump in and experiment. After all, practice makes perfect, right?
Getting Started with Breathing Techniques
1. Find your baseline
The next time you're in the mood to experiment, pay special attention to your breathing patterns. Notice what happens to your breath as you approach climax.
If you’re like most, you will probably tense up your body and hold your breath. This happens when we get close to an orgasm and try to force the ending. While there is nothing wrong with this, we can actually experience stronger sensations when we slow things down a bit. With a little breath work, orgasms can feel more like an easy release—and less like a difficult task.
With distraction comes stress. During sex, many of us have to be careful to avoid external stressors. Stress can quickly result in a sexual experience that is less than satisfactory. This is where focusing on your breath can help.
“When your body is relaxed and your muscles move without tension, you allow yourself to open up for maximum pleasure. While focusing on your body and the pleasure you are experiencing, you will notice you will climax easier and more intensely,” adds Stokes.
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2. Don’t Hold Your Breath
It’s a natural reaction to hold your breath as climax approaches.
Next time you’re in the bedroom, focus on keeping your inhales deep and rhythmic and your exhales natural. The closer you get to having an orgasm, the harder this will be. It takes some practice to perfect, so don’t give up after one try.
Some meditations will have you count to maintain your breath’s pace, but counting isn’t incredibly sexy. Instead, simply bring some attention to your breath, slow it down, and whatever you do, don’t hold your breath!
3. Don’t Watch the Clock
Slowing down your breathing often means that orgasms come slower. But that’s part of the process.
When you’re in control of your breath, sex might take a bit longer. You may find yourself hovering on the edge, but not quite there. The longer you stay near the top of your peak, the more intense the orgasm will be.
This process is a bit like edging, where you stop yourself just before climax (when you’re on the edge) in order to delay orgasm. By “edging” several times during intimacy, many experience a more intense orgasmic ending when it finally occurs.
Mindful breathing and edging are both techniques that can result in more intense pleasure, but they differ in the fact that we are using breathing techniques to stay in control, not to delay climax.
So, don’t be surprised if sex takes a little longer—the payoff will certainly be worth it!
4. Align Your Breathing With Your Energy
Humans breathe differently depending on the situation. When you are exercising or close to orgasm, you may open your mouth to take in large, quick swallows of air. When you try to calm down, breathing through your nostrils can help.
Choosing your breathing technique can build or calm your energy during sex.
So, after you’ve tried slowing down your breathing, you can try speeding it up to experience the various effects. If you choose to speed your breathing, you’ll need to be extra careful that you stay mindful rather than slipping back into old breathing habits.
3 Tips for using breathing techniques during sex
Using new techniques in the bedroom can feel somewhat awkward at first. It may take a lot of focus as you start putting effort into your breathing patterns. Don’t let this discourage you. With a little practice, you can quickly use breathing techniques to reach new and exciting levels of pleasure.
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Tip #1: Practice Outside of the Bedroom
You don’t have to wait for your next romp to get started. Set a few minutes aside each day to practice. You can use a guided meditation on an app, or find a quiet spot by yourself to focus. Try counting 1-2-3-4-5 in your head as you slowly inhale, expanding your stomach outward. When you reach 5, hold for a moment and begin to release the air - just as slowly. Let your stomach collapse and relax the muscles throughout your body.
Pro-tip: Set a timer so this doesn’t turn into an unscheduled nap. The more you practice mindful breathing outside of the bedroom, the more natural it will be to incorporate it into your sex life.
Tip #2: Practice in the Bedroom, Too
When you’re having sex, try synchronizing your breaths. Synchronized breathing (coupled with extended eye contact and slow-paced sex) is a common practice in tantric sex. The reason tantra has been around forever? It works!
Synchronizing and slowing your breathing can help you have more orgasm control, where you can extend the pleasurable moments just before orgasm into an entire afternoon if you want!
Tip #3: Explore Mindful Breathing
Focusing on your breath helps you become more mindful. Mindfulness is a proven way to improve your sex life. You may wonder how focusing on your breath is sexier than, say, focusing on your partner. The fact is that mindful breathing keeps you centered in your body and prevents your mind from wandering. If you think about your partner, your mind may think of other things that are less than sexy, like the last fight you had.
Turning your attention to your breath helps you stay fixated on the physical sensations. You feel the cool air come in through your nostrils, fill your lungs, and then leave your body. Rather than trying to concentrate and force your way into an orgasm, your breath allows your body to enjoy stimulation until you climax naturally.
Stokes adds that “Breathing techniques take practice. You will need to practice this on a regular basis and I encourage my clients to apply these breathing techniques to other areas of their life. Taking time to be more mindful allows you to be much more intentional about your life.”
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