The Ultimate Guide to Fingering

By Lindsay Curtis

“It felt akin to a jackhammer ramming inside of me,” said Claire, recalling the first time she got intimate with her boyfriend Seamus. After a few dates, the two were ready to take their connection to the next level. “After someforeplay, I was wet and ready. But as soon as my pants were off, he started banging his fingers inside of me with absolutelynofinesse and completely killed the mood.” Fortunately for Claire, Seamus was receptive to her feedback, and their night (and sex life) recovered. 

If you’ve ever been a Claireor a Seamus in a similar scenario, read on. These popular fingering techniques can be mastered to elevate your prowess in the bedroom and help bring on intenseorgasms.

Tried & True Fingering Techniques

Reach for The G-Spot

The sometimes elusiveg-spot orgasm can be difficult to achieve through penile stimulation due to the angle required. Fortunately, fingers are the perfect tool to access this sensitive spot. “Insert your fingertips facing upwards in the vagina and move them in a ‘come-hither’ motion until you find the sweet spot,” suggests sex therapistAngela Watson.“The g-spot feels a bit bumpier than the surrounding tissue, and is about the size of a dime,” said Watson. Keep stimulating this spot and an orgasm is within reach. 

Two Hands Are Better Than One

Fingering doesn’t mean digits areonlyin the vagina. With over 8,000 pleasure-bringing nerve endings, the clitoris can — and should — be involved, too! Many women can’t orgasm from penetration alone, so getting her clitoris involved is a better bet. Use one hand to penetrate the vagina and massage the g-spot, and use the other hand to rub, massage and stroke the externalclitoris. “Putting the clitoris between your ring and middle finger while gently kneading it can bring out loads of pleasure while you penetrate with the other hand,” Watson advises.Experiment with different pressures and rhythms until you find the one that brings her most pleasure. 

Clitoral Massage 

The easiest way to bring a woman to orgasm is through direct clitoral stimulation. “About 75 percent of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm,” says certified sex therapistSuzannah Weiss. There are many variations to clitoral stimulation, and each woman will have her own preferences. “Try moving your finger in circles over the clitoral hood; stroking up and down over the clitoris, or moving your fingers left and right. You can lift up her clitoral hood to gently stroke the clitoris, too,” advises Weiss. Play around with different pressures, strokes, and paces to find out what feels best for your partner.

Pro tips

Ready to dive in? Keep these things in mind to really blow your partner’s mind and keep her coming back for more (pun intended). 

Use lube

Thevulva is pretty sensitive, and it’s all too easy for a woman to start to feel rubbed raw after a while, even if her natural lubrication is plentiful. Use somelube to boost the pleasure quotient. If youreallywant to elevate the pleasure, try someweed lube.

Communication is key 

Knowing what your partner likes andhowshe likes it will go a long way in bringing her pleasure.Don’t be afraid to ask her what she likes, asking how much penetration she prefers, and what part(s) of her clit is most sensitive. 

Start off Slow

All women are different, but most women will appreciate a slow and gentle approach to get started. Spend time teasing her, slowly massaging every part of the vulva, including the inner and outer labia, the clitoral hood, and the nerve-rich vaginal opening.

Find the sweet spot? 

No matter which techniques you use, don’t stop once you find a rhythm that works for your partner. Keep building her pleasure until you feel her start to shudder. When her thighs begin to shake, she’s getting close. If you’re struggling to keep the rhythm going, try using avibrator on her clitoris while you’re penetrating her with your fingers. 

These fingering techniques stand on their own, but they can also be paired withoral sex,anal play and using sex toys like theLioness Vibrator to bring pleasure to the next level.

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