By Ena Dahl
In a recent article listing blow job dos and don’ts, I said there’s no step-by-step recipe to theperfect blow job and I stand by my words.
As a sex writer who spends a good portion of my time writing guides and advice pieces for better sex, I’m often conflicted because there’s never justone good way to do anything.
There areways. Plural.
Blow jobs are no different;they can bequick and dirty, a surprise, warm-up, or foreplay. But, if you want to take it up a notch and give the crème de la crème of blow jobs—no pun intended—I recommend the following tips:
Blow Job Pro-Tip #1: Build Anticipation
Teasing and creating anticipation is one of my absolute favorites in bed: I love giving it, just as much as I like to receive.
To give a better blow job, go slow as you make your way towardsyour goalby stroking their inner thighs, or trace your way down from their nipples, past the belly button. If they’re still wearing underwear, tease them by drawing the outline of their penis with your fingers or tongue, without getting too close. Try to playfully open your mouth over the shaft and simply to breathe onto it.
What you want is to keep teasing until they squirm and basically (or literally) beg you to proceed. And even still, you’ll want to keep going slow to add further anticipation.
Building of suspense and arousal can drastically heighten sensitivity, which makes the feeling of finally being fulfilled that much more intense. Therefore, instead of immediately swallowing their whole ‘package’, start by licking their balls (if they’re into that) and work your way from the base, towards the glans.
While moving up, explore both the front, back and sides of the shaft, the edge of the head and even the urethral opening.
Continue taking your time and building tension— while paying attention to their reactions—until you make your way to the top. You want to get to the point where they let out a gasp when you finally slip their head into your mouth and slide all the way down.
[Sigh of relief…]
Blow Job Pro-Tip #2: Add Variation
Continue playfully and with plenty of range. Use your whole mouth. Swirl and move your tongue, up from the base and around the glans and upper part of the shaft.
Incorporate your hands to give plenty of different sensations.
Sucking firmly creates a vacuum that adds sensitivity, and usually feels great. Keep moving down to revisit their balls, both with your hands and your mouth—and then back up again.
If your partner is into anal play, this is a good time to reach around and message their anus—or slip in a finger or two. Note that this is something that should be discussed beforehand: While many men love it, it’s a definite no-go for others.
You can drag this stage out for as long as you wish, and for as long as your partner is enjoying it. If you have plenty of time on your hands, and a fair bit of stamina, you can ‘edge’ them by bringing them close to climax, repeatedly, without going all the way.
Blow Job Pro-Tip #3: Build Speed and Rhythm
Approaching the finale, try to find a steady pace. As you’ll start moving faster, it usually works well to use one hand at the shaft of the penis and stroke, up and down, while following this movement with your mouth.
The trick is to stay constant towards the end, as a sudden change can cause them to lose momentum.
Continuing like this, steady, while increasing speed until they orgasm.
Blow Job Pro-Tip #4: Visual & Mental Turn-ons
Make your blow jobs even better by appealing to your partner's sense of sight. More importantly than trying to emulate some ‘porn act’ it’s all about having fun and showing your partner that you’re enjoying yourself—nothing is hotter than that.
Here are a few ways to visually entice your partner:
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Eye contact
I love looking my partner deep in the eyes when I go down on him, especially because I can see how much it turns him on. Try keeping firm, yet flirtatious eye contact while tracing the tip of his penis.
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Deepthroating
This much-disputed act isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and, it’s one I’m planning to discuss in-depth in a future article. But, briefly, the appeal of the deepthroat is more psychological than it is physical, bot for the giver and the receiver. While many say it feels great when the back of the throat clenches around the head of the penis, watching someone swallow them, balls-deep — literally — can be a huge mental turn-on.
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Money Shot
The feeling of ejaculating doesn’t differ a lot depending on where it happens, physically. Psychologically, it can.
Coming on someone can be an act of dominance, and quite a few are into this aspect of it as well, but it doesn’t have to be about that.
Many, myself included, find uninhibited, rawness in bed incredibly sexy, and there’s something very primal about getting all messy and not giving a damn, and even loving it. So, whatever you prefer, the most important is to savor and enjoy it, wholeheartedly.
Voilá!
There you have them, my best blow job-tips. And as always, these are open for interpretation and the addition of your own twists and moves. But, whatever you do, do it like you mean it.
The rest will come (…).
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