By Ena Dahl
If I could give you a step-by-step recipe to the perfect blowjob, I would, but unfortunately, there’s no such thing. Since preferences and sensitivities vary from person to person, and sometimes even from one day to the next, there’s no ‘go-to-procedure’ for all.
Fortunately, if you’re wondering how to give a good blow job, there are a few dos and don’t that separate the bad from the good, and the good from the outstanding.
3 things that don’t belong in a blowjob
In my experience—and in the experience of those I’ve spoken to—the most frequent blow job complaints usually involve one or a combination of the following three:
Teeth
If you want to know how to give a good blow job, keep your teeth off your partner's penis (unless they’re into that). Instead, use your lips to sheath them. You should be able to feel it if your teeth make contact with skin, but, If in doubt, ask for feedback.
Dry mouth
A dry mouth makes giving head more difficult. Good blow jobs are sloppy-wet!
If your mouth tends to dry up, a hot tip, besides making sure you’re hydrated, is to go deep: Take the head of the penis as far back towards your throat as you’re comfortable with. This will stimulate your saliva production to give you a good dose of natural lubricant.
Boredom
There’s something to be said for keeping a steady rhythm and pace, especially towards the end, but there’s a huge difference between and doing the exact same repetitive motion from start to finish.
Even though the act itself has the word ‘job’ in it, it should be approached as everything but: It should always be something you want to do, never something you feel like you have to. Dry, mechanical, and uninspired head is worse than none at all, so, make it an enthusiastic blowjob—or drop it!
3 ways to give a good blow job
Giving good head is more about attitude than about skill. Apart from open communication with your partner(s), which is the first step to taking any kind of sex to the next level, the three following factors are essential:
Enthusiasm
Contrary to boredom, enthusiasm is the first step to giving your partner an unforgettable blow job.
I came across this meme claiming there are two types of girls when giving head: The “I guess I will” and, the “he’s gonna see God tonight”. There’s real truth to this.
As with most things, if we approach them with apathy, the outcome will turn out accordingly. If, on the other hand, we take on a blowjob with a passionate ardor, it’s bound to be that much more enjoyable — for everyone.
You never want to put a penis in your mouth because you feel like you should< or >have to,but because nothing else sounds more deliciously appetizing right now. In fact, your mouth waters at the mere thought of it.
While you’re at it, show your partner how much you enjoy the experience; don’t be afraid to moan, sigh or express with words how delicious you think they are.
Your recipient will>feel the difference!
Curiosity
Multiple repetitions of up-and-down will likely get your partner off ...eventually, but it gets redundant. Give a good blow job by paying attention to more than the shaft and head.
If you haven’t explored every nook, cranny, texture, and fold, go on an expedition of that uncharted territory, asap—and use the experience to draw a mental map of your partner’s pleasure.
Ask them to be vocal about their likes and dislikes as you explore with your tongue, mouth and your hands, all the way from the perineum to the tip.
Making your way around the balls, you can try to swirl your tongue around them, drawing a figure eight. You can nibble, kiss, blow and suck—try to take one or both testicles in your mouth at the time—paying attention to your partner’s feedback the whole time.
As you move your way up the shaft to the head of the penis, explore every side; front and back, around the underside of the glans, up to the urethral opening. Meanwhile, experiment with different types of pressure and ways of using your mouth.
Empathy & Awareness
When exploring and touching your partner with the above-mentioned enthusiasm and curiosity, pay attention to their feedback; their breathing, moans, and movements.
Some of us are innately present in our bodies, while some of us tend to let our mind drift or be in-our-heads. If you have the tendency to think rather than feel, approach it a bit like meditation, where the goal is to quiet the mind.
Being fully invested in the moment will allow you to connect with your partner and tune into their pleasure. You’ll likely find that the more aware you are of their enjoyment, the more turned on and excited you feel yourself.
Presence and awareness of both our own and our partners’ bodies allows us to connect in a way that amplifies pleasure, manifold.
TL;DR
Blow jobs are like pizza, there are endless ways to put one together, but choosing the right mix of ingredients can take things up a notch.
If you want to give a good blow job, hide your pearly whites, get your mouth watering, and approach with plenty of curious excitement, enthusiasm, and awareness.
Bon appétit!
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