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The Ultimate Guide To Porn For Women In 2020

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

 

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In the immortal words of Trekkie Monster, “The internet is for porn!” 

But with so many options just a click away, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and get lost in the choices. And let me tell you, there are a lot of choices! 

In the past, porn had a reputation for being geared towards straight, heterosexual men. The points of view, the storylines (or lack thereof), even the way a woman’s pleasure was depicted all seemed to cater to a demographic women just weren’t a part of.

Fortunately, the times they are a’changin’ and there is so much more porn for the choosing in 2020. If you’ve ever wondered “where can I find porn for women?” this one’s for you:

What is “porn for women” anyway?

Full disclosure, I’m not a big fan of this combination of words. Designating any type of porn or erotica as “for men” or “for women” is limiting and non-inclusive. 

However, from my research on this topic, I know there are tens of thousands of people on Google who search “porn for women” every month, hoping to find options beyond the obvious. There is a serious need for information when it comes to making porn accessible for women, non-binary individuals, and anyone who doesn’t identify as a cis-man. 

So let’s start by defining Porn for Women:

The basic concept of porn for women is that it is porn that is made for for cis-het women. Back when women weren’t supposed to like things like rough, dirty, or hardcore sex, a popular assumption was that this type of porn was softcore, elegantly shot pornography or erotica that focused on a woman’s pleasure — and maybe had a story line and character development.

While I love a good plot, thank goodness that ended, right? 

Gone are the days of masturbation being a “man’s” pastime and porn being content for men. Women and people with vaginas no longer have to pretend they aren’t just as excited to watch porn and flick their beans. 

Now there are a myriad of choices for women interested in watching, reading, or even taking part in pornography. You can enjoy everything from a sensual, erotic storyline or something more hardcore. 

There are a lot of options out there to choose from depending on what appeals to you!

Call it what it is: feminist porn

Despite more women viewing porn online than before, 68% of worldwide users on Pornhub are men. Believe it or not, that’s a 2% decline since 2018.

While this comes as no surprise since much of that content is geared towards men, it does show that more women are starting to consume porn more. As a result, our definition of what constitutes “porn for women” has also expanded.

Photo by Victoria Heath on Unsplash
Photo by Victoria Heath on Unsplash

 

Since the term “porn for women” can be a bit of a misnomer, I prefer to call this content “feminist porn.”

We don’t need to assume that feminist porn or porn for women is soft and gentle or focused on riding into the sunset with some prince on a stallion. We don’t have to convince ourselves that we want to watch a white woman be wined and dined by some former frat-boy who barely knows how to make missionary sex enjoyable.

Feminist porn is exactly what the name entails: inclusive and with equal watching opportunity for all. Feminist porn is porn for women that levels the pleasure playfielding by making all genres, sexualities, acts, and everything in between more accessible to more than just men.

There isn’t any catch all category of “porn for men,” and likewise, there truly isn’t a catch all “porn for women” category either. It’s like women have diverse interests, or something. (Yes, that was totally sarcasm in case that wasn’t obvious.)

Is it wrong or unhealthy to watch pornography?

When it comes to morals, ethics, and sex, things can get confusing. Couple that with the awful (and untrue) ideas about what porn is or isn’t, that porn is not for women, and that pornography is bad, indulging can be daunting. 

Rest assured, science is on your side and indulging in ethical, legal porn is not inherently wrong. And that includes all the various ways there are to explore your fantasies—from erotica such as books, short stories, or audio, to photography, video, and even GIFs that are created ethically. (More on that below!)

What is ethical porn?

Ethical porn is porn that you can trust was created while treating everyone involved fairly, from the actors to the rest of the support staff, or even just the content creators themselves if it’s fully created and produced by just them!

When you consume ethical porn, you can readily answer “yes” to questions like:

  • Was this made legally?
  • Did every actor in this film consent?
  • Did every actor in this film enjoy themselves?
  • Was everyone treated with respect?
  • Does this porn have a healthy balance of real-life and fantasy?
  • Were the actors fairly compensated for their participation?
  • Were precautions taken to ensure no one’s health was compromised?
  • Is this porn or its directors, actors, or production company diverse and inclusive?

But perhaps you aren’t only worried about your porn being ethical.

Distinguishing the difference between normal and problematic pornography use

Perhaps you’re less concerned with finding ethical porn and more concerned with potentially becoming addicted to porn, Depending on your own mental health and predisposition to addictive or compulsive behaviors, this may be a valid concern.

So when does consuming porn frequently become a porn addiction? Well, researchers don’t really have a definitive answer to that. In fact, in January 2020, there was a study released that aimed to assess the validity of three different models used to examine problematic pornography use.  

It’s findings? All three of the most prominent models used to assess pornography use were “promising measures of problematic [Internet Pornography Use] IPU.(1)” 

So if there are so many ways to measure it—but it’s not actually included in diagnostic materials like the DSM—how can you be sure you’re not developing a problem?

Obviously, talking to a professional like a therapist is always preferred. If you’re not able to, however, a little checking in with yourself (backed by some science) isn’t a bad way to start.

“Five of the most commonly assessed addiction components across the different instruments were (1) impaired control, (2) salience, (3) mood modification, (4) interpersonal conflict, and (5) general life conflict.(2)

Photo by Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash

 

If you ever find that any of the following are true, you may be suffering from Problematic Pornography Use:

  • You cannot stop yourself from watching porn
  • Porn has become an integral part of your sexual or daily function
  • Watching or not watching porn has a noticeable effect on your mood (beyond the feel goods from rubbing one out)
  • Porn is causing issues in your interpersonal relationships
  • Porn is causing issues in your day-to-day life

If, however, you find that your porn consumption is legally and ethically increasing your sexual satisfaction and causing no cognitive dissonance (that is, you aren’t left feeling like you’ve compromised how you truly feel morally, ethically, or religiously), then you have nothing to fear. 

On the other hand, you may also not like any of it at all! While it’s completely fine for women to like porn, it’s also perfectly normal to say, “eh, it’s not for me.” You are just as normal as the people who get off on porn if you find it simply does not do anything for you.

I am a woman into hardcore porn; is that normal?

There’s a saying that I love to use as often as possible and that is, there is a pot for every lid. I love the visual and the validity.

If you’re a woman who is into watching graphic, rough, or violent porn you are normal. In fact, Pornhub’s analytics show that women are 85% more likely to consume gangbang porn than men. 

A Mic article expands a bit on this:

“For starters, while we typically think of “gangbang,” “fisting” and “double penetration” as hallmarks of male-oriented hardcore porn, it looks like ladies are getting off to the rough stuff as well. In fact, they might even be getting off to it more often than dudes are.”

This interest in hardcore pornography runs counter to what has been traditionally considered porn for women. 

While the idea might be difficult to digest for some people, it shows that women have a broad range of fantasies just like men. And just like with men, the statistics are not all-encompassing; not every woman will like hardcore porn. Some may prefer it sometimes or have no interest at all.

Sexual appetites, fantasies, and fetishes will always vary from person to person and that is normal. After all, having diverse experiences and interests is what makes us different. 

It also adds some variety and excitement to our individual pleasure. Just ask the many Lioness Vibrator customers who use biofeedback and data to track what kind of fantasies turn them on the most!

Okay, okay. Shameless self-plug aside, I do want you to remember one thing here: there is nothing wrong with having fantasies.

Whether you enjoy watching people “making love” or get off on (consensual nonconsensual) rape fantasies, the only thing you need to worry about is consent. If everyone involved is enthusiastically consenting (that is, saying “yes!” not “...I guess so…”), then you’re fine.

If you’re indulging in porn or fantasies with your partner(s), prioritize respect and don’t violate trust or boundaries. If you’re curled up under your covers with your favorite sex toy, let your mind wander and find what feels good without judging yourself.

Where to find the best porn for women

If you skipped that entire introduction, don’t feel bad. I get it; you’re in the mood and you want to know where the goods are. 

We’ve got you!

Photo by Jennifer Enujiugha from Pexels
Photo by Jennifer Enujiugha from Pexels

 

Whether you’re looking for something softcore, hardcore, or in between, the female-friendly porn platforms are out there. Each of the platforms we’ve listed below are unique in their own way with one common goal: to get you off. 

Explore at your leisure and find your favorites!

The best female friendly porn video sites

Sssh - Feminist porn for women and couples

“Sssh.com – your source for ethically produced, sex-positive indie adult cinema. Our crowd-sourced films are inspired by fantasies and desires shared by our members. Our provocative storylines will challenge your perceptions of explicit sexual content. From cutting edge VR to narrative film, from the written word to auditory stimulation. We are Uninhibited, Unapologetic and Unabashed..”

If you’re interested in a membership-based site that offers all types of porn for women, Sssh is a great place to go. 

Founded by Angie Rowntree in 1999, Sssh doubles as an independent production studio. They offer everything from visual pornography, erotica, and even top-notch customer service! 

Perhaps one of the coolest things about them is that they actually really listen to their customer feedback and will create stories and content tailored to people's fantasies. If you think about it that way, that's like getting bespoke porn content for a fraction of the price ("bespoke porn" can run in the thousands to tens of thousands of dollars). 

Ask, and ye shall receive.

To top it off, they have produced movies with award-winning teams (both in the adult industry and mainstream) that have won numerous awards and nominations from XBIZ and AVN. They've even dabbled in new technology like VR porn for women! 

Else Cinema - If you’re looking for something ELSE

“Brought to you by Erika Lust, the award-winning filmmaker whose pioneering work has garnered a huge following of people looking for something different from their erotic viewing, this is soft sensual cinema on demand.

Watch on any device you like with no nasty pop-ups and no need to hide your internet history afterwards. Home to the finest soft erotic movies, Else Cinema is for people who want a safe space to add a little more sensuality to their life.”

Erika Lust is pretty well known in the adult industry, and we’ve listed more of her contributions to female-friendly porn below.

In the words of one of our contributing writers, Leo, who used their Lioness to measure their arousal while consuming porn on Else Cinema, “Erika is changing the porn industry by centering on women’s pleasure, creating space for diverse stories, and paying every person involved in the production fairly.” 

Else is another great pay-to-use porn platform for any woman interested in porn that ranges from sexy and sensual to romantic or raunchy. The overarching theme? This porn is less explicit than what you might find on other sites.

Check out Erika Lust’s other contributions to female-friendly porn below:

XConfessions

“A collection of crowdsourced explicit short films with high cinematic production values. XConfessions is featured in big media all over the world and establishes Erika as a filmmaker with great skills to portray human nature through the narrative of desire, and a unique talent to merge eroticism with witty comedy.”

LustCinema

LustCinema aims to challenge the porn industry standards by promoting the cinematic possibilities of the medium, high quality storytelling and a realistic representation of human sexuality and sex. “

The Crash Pad Series

“CrashPadSeries.com has long been recognized by lesbians as a dyke porn site, though much like a reflection of queer women’s community, we feature people of many genders and sexualities, as well as diverse ethnicities, body types and abilities, and experiences (such as amateur or professional).”

Full disclosure, this porn isn’t exclusively for women, but technically none of these are as we previously mentioned. The Crash Pad series falls under “queer porn” and “feminist porn.” It’s an amazing site that we cannot leave off this list.  

If you’re looking for ethical, award winning, queer porn made by and for queer folks, The Crash Pad Series is a great place to go. 

In addition to becoming a member and perusing their content, you can also watch their behind the scenes post-interviews. It’s a fascinating and informative way to learn what some of the actors are thinking and feeling while in a scene.

Make Love Not Porn (MLNP)

“‘We’re pro-sex, pro-porn, pro-knowing the difference.”

MLNP is the brainchild of Cindy Gallop, the woman who coined the term sextech.

 All of the content on MLNP is created and submitted by real people who want to share their expressions of sex and love to viewers on their network. Since these videos are made by your folks from next door, they are much more raw, spontaneous, and real than your more big production films. 

You can view people who are in love, lovers, and anybody who wants to give you a peek into their intimate life to share sexual pleasure. You can check out their videos or become a MLNP star yourself!

Bellesa

“At Bellesa, we believe that sexuality on the internet should depict women as they truly are- as subjects of pleasure, not objects of conquest. Bellesa is a platform on which users can access sexual content that suits their desires, share intimate and erotic stories, and engage in a community of like-minded individuals.”

Think of Bellesa as a more explicitly female-centric version of PornHub. You will find pictures, videos, and erotica that is more geared towards a female audience than most porn sites out there. Bellesa also has interesting articles over at Bellesa Collective about sex, sexual health, and pleasure, as well as their own sex toy shop.

Ersties

“Ersties is all about 100% real girls experiencing 100% real intimate moments. This is porn…done differently!

Take one look at Ersties and one thing stands out right away; their categories aren’t just your typical porn categories. Instead, they offer female-friendly porn categories like “girls with their boys “ and “girls with their best friends.” 

Made by women, as their site proudly boasts, this another porn site for women that may be worth exploring if you’re looking for natural, real depictions of female pleasure.

YouPorn

“If you haven’t figured it out by now, it’s shocking that you’ve made it this far. YouPorn is a 100% free streaming adult video site hosting hundreds of thousands of videos from every genre imaginable that services more than 15 million visitors worldwide every day.”

Last but not least, YouPorn is part of the Pornhub Network. Compared to the rest of the channels on the network, YouPorn has proportionally more female viewers, making it a likely choice to start your search if you’re looking for porn that other women seek. Like other large pornography sites, they have a broad array of topics so you can get a taste of your every whim and desire.

The best female friendly porn you can read or listen to

Quick point of clarity: not all porn is visual. A lot of the good stuff is actually written or audio content. In fact, we have compiled The Ultimate Guide to Erotica for women, LGBTQ+, BIPOC, and non-binary folks. The list below pales in comparison to what we have there, but it’s a great start if you’re unsure of where to begin with reading (or listening to) your porn.

Literotica

“Literotica features 100% original sex stories from a variety of authors. Literotica accepts quality erotic story submissions from amateur authors and holds story contests for contributors.”

Founded in 1998, Literotica has been the leading source of erotic literature on the internet. 

It’s sort of like a fanfiction.net of written erotic fantasies. You can find nearly 20 years worth of submissions on every single topic under the sun, or you can also go and contribute your own stories to the erotica bank. 

If the written word gets you off, this is the first place to go.

Dipsea

“We don’t think women’s desire is a problem to be solved. It’s a fire to be stoked.”

Founded by two women, Dipsea is kind of like a headspace for pleasure. 

They produce audio erotica for women to discreetly listen to and indulge in titillating fantasies. After a successful beta trial in 2018, Dipsea is in full swing. In fact, Leo also used their content to measure their pleasure! 

Books

Sometimes the best place to go for your porn is Barnes and Noble or other local bookstores! Romance novels have a long history of being sexy, steamy, and made for women. 

 

Some of them are more well-known (like 50 Shades of Grey), while others are just waiting to have you run your finger along their spine and open them up. 

The best part? If you’re not comfortable seeking these books out on a shelf at the store or in your internet search history, there are subscription boxes that will do the delicious dirty work for you. Any one of a number of romance book subscription boxes will send you curating boxes for your reading pleasure!

AudioDesires

“Erotic audio stories for women and couples”

If you’re someone who loves dirty talk, dirty stories, and someone else doing all the dirty work, audio porn might be your thing. If it is, AudioDesires is a great place to start!

The site boasts categories for men, women, couples, and even ASMR. Sign up is free but, if you’re not quite ready to commit, they’ve got plenty of free, accessible, and public content on their Spotify

Speaking of Spotify and other audio-platforms, AudioDesires is not the only company to offer podcasts for porn. Our Ultimate Guide to Erotica goes into more detail, but some other great places to listen to are:

Hot Romantic Adult Weekly Podcast

Friday Nights will never be the same, every week we will share a HOT new EROTIC story with you. Just the thing to bring your weekend alive. Whether you share this story with a friend or keep it all to yourself, I know your Friday Nights will never be the same.” 

The Kiss Me Quick’s Erotica

Sexy Stories with Rose Caraway and her friends will arouse your senses and inflame your imagination with delicious tales of love, lust, loss, romance, suspense, erotic horror, and adventure! Come, experience intense fantasies that are sure to seduce your thoughts and leave you and your partner(s) wanting more! Enjoy the best erotica authors today as they show off their limitless imaginations with smart, provocative stories, with just the right amount of moxie and sensuality! This show is for adults only.”

Gif porn and erotic images: an homage to the days of Tumblr

Back in the day, Tumblr was a hotspot for porn, especially for women. In fact, one of our recommendations below got her start and gained a following there.

In 2018, however, Tumblr porn was crushed beneath the ban hammer, largely in part to the platform’s inability to ensure illegal content was not being shared. 

Born from the platform and others like it, however, gif porn and short-form porn content lived on. If you’re looking for something quick and perhaps on repeat, check out one of the following:

LadyCheeky

LadyCheeky’s former Tumblr About: “LadyCheeky.com is committed to bringing you curated sensual images and gifs that depict palpable desire, unbridled passion and body positive eroticism.”

If Tumblr was your jam back in the day, LadyCheeky may have been one of your go-to places for porn. Created by Certified Sex Educator Elle Chase and coined as “smut for smarties”, LadyCheeky started as a carefefully curated Tumblr account of sex and body positive, sensual, and of course, sexy images. 

Now, LadyCheeky can be found on the site newTumbl where she continues her mission. If it’s your first time on the site, you’re in for a beautiful celebration of female sexuality, as well as gifs and images that may get your motor running.  

Keep in mind, if you choose to access this platform, you’ll need to create a newTumbl account to see the steamier content on the site.

RedGifs

Okay, so RedGifs is not necessarily geared towards or made by women, but they do have some particularly great categories. Remember when we mentioned Ersties above? Well, RedGif offers an entire category dedicated to gifs from videos you can find on the Ersties website.

Beyond that, there are tons of other categories for all kinds of kinks, fetishes, turn-ons, acts, and more. Once you know what you’re looking for RedGifs is a good place to go, especially if you’re looking for something on loop!

Virtual reality porn (and other interactive sites to try)

The year 2020 on its own may suck, but living with 21st Century technology sure has its perks! Why watch or read your porn when you can immerse yourself in it? 

Virtual Reality (VR) porn is one option that—while limited in terms of content that’s not intened for cis-het men—is still worth mentioning. 

One option for a VR porn experience can be found at Lightsouthern. The company produces “beautiful Aussie Award Winning feature length Adult films, that make you want to say 'oi' heaps.: In fact, they were even nominated for an Xbiz award for ““Best VR scene” in 2017.  

Another option for VR porn is credited back to none other than Erika Lust (what doesn’t that woman do, right?) and can be found on her site XConfessions

Kink.com is another site that offers VR porn—this one specializing in the BDSM genre. 

Interactive sexting with Slutbot

“Slutbot, our core product, is a free interactive experience where you can practice sexting and communicating your desires with a chatbot over text messaging/SMS.”

So the primary intent being Slutbot is not necessarily pornographic but if practice makes perfect, then you should probably give it your best shot, right?

Slutbot is a great way to take technology and make it work for you. Engaging with the platform is a great way to explore what turns you on sexually and textually, and then letting that arousal have its time.

If you’re not into visual pornograpyh, Slutbot is a great way to take erotica and dirty talk to the next level—no other humans involved!

Exploring porn outside of the “for women” description

If you made it this far without running to some pornographic corner of the internet, you probably noticed that the trendy porn topics like gifs and VR aren’t exactly “female friendly porn” genres just yet.

That in no way means that they aren’t for women. It just means that these genres haven’t expanded beyond traditional production companies and internet platforms, whether that’s because of costs or other reasons.

When you start your journey with porn, looking for female-friendly, ethical, and inclusive sites is a great way to go. It’s safe, sexy, and bound to arouse you once you land on something you like.  

It’s also nice to see an influx of women appearing to be experiencing pleasure, not pain (or pleasure from consensual, ethical pain).  

Still, you should never feel limited to “for women” pleasure; exploring traditional porn sites for things you like is not off-limits. If you happen to be turned on by the same content that someone thought they were making for men, that’s totally okay! 

In the words of Shakespeare (or at least what I assume he’d say if he were alive today), “If porn is the food of the internet, play (with yourself) on!” 

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References:

  1. Chen, L., & Jiang, X. (2020, January 12). The Assessment of Problematic Internet Pornography Use: A Comparison of Three Scales with Mixed Methods. Retrieved October 21, 2020, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7014272/
  2. MD;, F. (n.d.). Psychometric Instruments for Problematic Pornography Use: A Systematic Review. Retrieved October 21, 2020, from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31284745/

 

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