Everyone deserves a respectful and fulfilling sex life, and that sentiment doesn't change as you get older.
While there are plenty of design-forward sex toys that have been coming out on the market, many of which can be considered by people no matter their age, there are certain considerations folks may need to make as they are getting older including, but not limited to:
- Difficulties maintaining arousal and having an orgasm.
- Ergonomics (using a product that is easy to hold and operate).
- Overall health (a variety of conditions from menopause to cancer to diabetes can affect one's sexual satisfaction and function).
In some of these cases, a well-chosen sex toy or sexual enhancer can be just the trick to help you enjoy pleasure again.
While there are not many toys that are specifically marketed towards older individuals, a number of products already on the market can address certain things that an older person may be experiencing.
Below, we've curated a selection of different sexual enhancers that anyone can try and enjoy to enhance their sex life, no matter their age.
Lightweight and/or ergonomic
These sex toys are particularly lightweight, easy to hold, and have buttons that are easy to operate:
Sex Furniture and Pillows
Sometimes it's as simple as a pillow. A pillow, especially one that is angled, can give you the right position you need to get just the spot you want.
That pillow you use to combat snoring and acid reflux? You can use it to prop yourself up a bit during sex, and it could make all the difference. And no one will be the wiser...
Yes, this pillow, which you can find here.
If you want something even more involved, you can also invest in a piece of sex furniture that can become not just a functional piece, but a stylish, artistic statement piece in your house (that you can hide or put out proudly in the living room), if you so please). There's even the Bowchair, which is a work of art and an engineering feat that can help you have amazing sex.
Crave creates a line of sophisticated-looking sex toys made from body-safe materials. While their popular necklace vibe may be a bit too small to easily operate if you have limited movement in your hands, their larger Pocket Vibe (with also a larger button at the base of the vibe) may be much easier to handle — and also stronger with a larger motor than their slimmer necklace / bullet vibrator.
Plus, as we've mentioned in another article about sex toys for men, the "flutter" silicone cap (see above) can be great sexual enhancer around the penis and balls.
Lioness Smart Vibrator
Our product! We're biased, but you don't have to take our word for it. Oprah Magazine has described Lioness as "Fitbit for down below, learns your preferences and offers 'if you like that, you’ll looooove this'–style tips."
If you have questions about how your body has changed over time or how to have your best pleasure today, the Lioness Smart Vibrator provides data and feedback to help you learn what works best for you. Click here to learn more about the Lioness.
Tenga Flip Masturbation Sleeve
The Tenga Flip is a penile stroker, similar to Fleshlights but with a few notable differences. One of the coolest things about these sleeves is that they can be opened, so they are easy to clean! Also, they tend to be a little more discreet and more easily hidden in plain sight than a Fleshlight, which, while it looks kind of like a flashlight, it houses a vulva or anus inside.
If you are interested in a sleeve or stronger but need something a little more automated, you may be looking for the Hot Octopuss. They produce sleek, portable masturbation sleeves that include interesting vibration sensations. They also have sleeves that can be used with a partner as well as ones for solo play, if you'd like to introduce sex toys into the bedroom.
Aneros Prostate Massagers
Aneros has been creating prostate massagers for over a decade. Their products come in a range of sizes and are created with FDA-approved materials. They have their own cult following of devotees who have used Aneros to have a "super orgasm" and to help address difficulties with arousal and maintaining an erection.
I know, you might be thinking, "but what if it breaks?" As long as you get a glass toy from a reputable artisan or manufacturer, you should be good as long as you don't throw it across the room.
Why glass toys? Because they have a smooth, hard feeling that you don't get with most other toys, and compared to stainless steel (the other popular choice for hard smooth things) they are much more lightweight. If you're desiring something that feels hard and stays hard, glass is a great choice.
Plus, some of the more artesian glass toys are also quite elegant. With all the glass artisans out there, you can customize the exact shape, size, and color you want to get the sex toy of your dreams.
Sometimes, no matter your age, you need the thing that provides the biggest whammy.
Ah yes, the classic Magic Wand. It's been around since the late 1960s for a reason — it's strong, durable, and has helped a lot of people have orgasms who have had difficulties in the past. If you need something with a real oomph and other toys haven't done it for you, you may want to invest in the power of the Magic Wand.
For all of its bulkiness it makes up for in power, due to the ability to house a large vibration motor. If you find that it is too strong, you can dampen the vibrations somewhat by putting some fabric between you and the vibrator (a towel, blanket, or underwear would do fine).
Womanizer creates sex toys that use suction to stimulate the clitoris. While this form of stimulation can sometimes feel too intense for some people to be extraordinarily pleasurable, it can be very helpful for others who need extra help with physiological arousal. When they do work, they work very, very well.
If you need something fast, much more inexpensive, and available potentially at your local CVS, there's the Wahl. Like the Magic Wand, the Wahl is a massager that also connects to the wall (sorry, couldn't help myself). The mechanism to produce its vibration is different than most toys out there, and it's really freaking strong. You also get different attachments to play with different sensations.
This style has been around longer than the Magic Wand (you can see similar styles if you look back at antique vibrators), but doesn't have the same "cool, classic" factor as the Magic Wand, and it's cheaper than the Magic Wand. All the more reason to get it for a steal on Amazon or at your local drug store.
Reach and mobility
As we age, our mobility and range of motion may not be what it used to be. As an anonymous user with the pseudonym PaisleyPup has mentioned, "Between stiff lower backs and bellies getting bigger (while arms DON'T grow longer!), many toys become unusable." Fortunately, there are ways to be able to pleasure oneself and your partner — here's what PaisleyPup has to suggest:
Attachments with Magic Wand
The Magic Wand can be great on its own as it is a larger product, but the attachments can add some extra reach to take it an extra level. "The 90 degree extension makes it a great clitoral vibrator for the reaching impaired!"
Tool holder + short pole
I mean, these tool holders can hold other tools, so why not your favorite sex "tool"? With this creative sex hack, you can attach a sex toy with a slim-ish handle to get the extra reach you need to use your old and new sex toys.
As PaisleyPup mentioned: "This can hold a variety of toys with slim handles (but not the Lelo Sona, unfortunately!)."
While these re not traditional "sex toys," per se, these products may also help enhance your sexual pleasure.
Foria lubricants and suppositories
Foria creates cannabis and CBD "pre-lubes" (lubricants you use before you do the deed). What's special about them is that the THC and/or CBD may help enhance sexual pleasure and sensations for some people. For folks who have a penis, you can get their suppositories to use anally and to enjoy similar sensations.
Sometimes a good lube is all you ned to make sex feel spectacular. For intercourse or with certain toys, I'd recommend using a silicone-based lube like Uberlube because it is long-lasting and does not absorb like with water-based lubricants. There are also some lubricants that are specifically formulated for the needs of people experiencing hormonal changes such as genneve's lubricants, as well as YesVM, a daily moisturizing gel that helps with vaginal atrophy and dryness.
If you tend to have painful intercourse, there’s a new product called the Ohnut. Ohnut is a set of rings you can use to help limit the depth of a penetrative sex toy or penis. Each one comes with a set of four blocks, and you can even remove or add blocks as needed.
Most importantly, have fun!
Hopefully you've found something new that has piqued your interest! There are a lot of great, sophisticated, and elegant solutions for the needs of older folks — you just have to know where to look, have an open mind, and sometimes get a little bit creative.